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A typical day at my mad-house of a call center.
1) Your sales department is projected to fall short of their monthly goal and you have only 48 hours to close the gap before the end of the quarter. Do you:
If you guessed D then you're well on your way to working for my crappy company. In fact, you could be one of my stupid bosses, screaming at your employees to sell more one hour and then pulling them all off the phone the next hour for senseless training.
2) Call volume is down for the year, and people aren't making as many sales. Do you:
If you guessed B and C you're on your way to becoming an executive! It's always good to blame the little reps, even when you're routing unqualified calls in your center. After all, if your reps were true sales people they would be able to cell products... even when the customer apparently has no valid form of payment.
Here's the last question: Careful! It's tricky!
3) Despite the efforts in question 2, call volume is still down. Do you:
If you picked A and B... you're right! Don't tell me why it's right, or why anyone in their right mind would be hiring while there are no calls in que and sales are falling short and we don’t have room anyway. They don't pay me to explain these things, just to test 'em!
I hate my job.
1) Your sales department is projected to fall short of their monthly goal and you have only 48 hours to close the gap before the end of the quarter. Do you:
- A) Authorize free shipping.
- B) Pull your reps off the phones for a three hour mandatory meeting/guilt trip on why they aren’t selling.
- C) Pull more reps off the phones for further training on a system that they will never use.
- D) All of the above.
If you guessed D then you're well on your way to working for my crappy company. In fact, you could be one of my stupid bosses, screaming at your employees to sell more one hour and then pulling them all off the phone the next hour for senseless training.
2) Call volume is down for the year, and people aren't making as many sales. Do you:
- A) Realize it's the down turning economy and cut prices to draw in customers.
- B) Route customers who picked the option for "billing" to your sales reps who have no billing training and yell at them when they can't sell Old Man Stevens who just called in to pay his bill.
- C) Increase prices to 99.99 plan per line.
- D) Both B and C
If you guessed B and C you're on your way to becoming an executive! It's always good to blame the little reps, even when you're routing unqualified calls in your center. After all, if your reps were true sales people they would be able to cell products... even when the customer apparently has no valid form of payment.
Here's the last question: Careful! It's tricky!
3) Despite the efforts in question 2, call volume is still down. Do you:
- A) Hire more permanent reps even there aren’t even enough seats already... surely, someone will call in sick!
- B) Hire more temporary employees so you can have them on the phones for three hours and then send them home for the rest of the day unpaid.
- C) Stop hiring reps. There is a five minute wait between calls already, and the seating problem is ridiculous.
- D) Both A and B
If you picked A and B... you're right! Don't tell me why it's right, or why anyone in their right mind would be hiring while there are no calls in que and sales are falling short and we don’t have room anyway. They don't pay me to explain these things, just to test 'em!
I hate my job.
no subject
My office hires new people all the time when the work gets a shade more than it should be. Then what happens is the queue goes down, work runs out, and now there are all these new people running all over the place. We actually are dealing with that issue right now.
I am so happy someone feels my call center pain!
no subject
lol.
My work is mostly inbound, and it's commissioned so we all freak out a little when there is no work or when the queue is taken up by customer care calls.
I totally hear you about near-deaf old people. Those are always hard to deal with because they're usually sweet, but they have a million questions and/or they don't trust you.