Prepare yourself for a rant from an English Major:
Its completely fine that those sentences are a pet peeve (or becoming one) for you. They are a result of someone who probably learned their writing skills through roleplay and have never properly taken a writing class, but they still want to write. And, even if these kinds of writers have a good story in their heads, it'll still be complete shit if they are unable to deliver the story properly. The style of writing you are dealing with is the embodiment of the majority of the crap that is written everywhere. People don't seem to understand how important language is to writing. most people just think it is all about plot and twists in the story, or the basics of story-telling like character development, and if you're lucky decent narrative too. Language is just taken to be a given; just because they "know" English and are fluent in it.
The best example of beautiful writing that i can think of off the top of my head is probably Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita". (i quotationed it cause i don't know html) The subject matter is... out there, but the point is to pay attention to the language. Nabokov said that for him, writing Lolita was his romance with the English language (Which was his THIRD language BTW.)
Here is a small excerpt to prove my point: "I leaf again through these miserable memories, and keep asking myself, was it then, in the glitter of that remote summer, that the rift in my life began; or was my excessive desire for that child only the first evidence of an inherent singularity? When i try to analyze my own cravings, motives, actions and so forth, i surrender to a sort of retrospective imagination which feeds the analytic faculty with boundless alternatives and which causes each visualized route to fork and re-fork without end in the maddeningly complex prospect of my past."
The whole book is like that and it keeps me glued to the pages. So, NO, i don't think you are in the wrong for being annoyed with terrible writing. You shouldn't expect to see ridiculous writing like that of Lolita, but if all the writing out there is as retarded and you have shown us then move on from the story and don't even bother with it. (A real editor of a book or magazine would just throw it in the recycling bin.) But if you are aiming to give constructive criticism then i am truly sorry that you have to sit through the pain of reading material like that.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Its completely fine that those sentences are a pet peeve (or becoming one) for you. They are a result of someone who probably learned their writing skills through roleplay and have never properly taken a writing class, but they still want to write. And, even if these kinds of writers have a good story in their heads, it'll still be complete shit if they are unable to deliver the story properly. The style of writing you are dealing with is the embodiment of the majority of the crap that is written everywhere. People don't seem to understand how important language is to writing. most people just think it is all about plot and twists in the story, or the basics of story-telling like character development, and if you're lucky decent narrative too. Language is just taken to be a given; just because they "know" English and are fluent in it.
The best example of beautiful writing that i can think of off the top of my head is probably Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita". (i quotationed it cause i don't know html) The subject matter is... out there, but the point is to pay attention to the language. Nabokov said that for him, writing Lolita was his romance with the English language (Which was his THIRD language BTW.)
Here is a small excerpt to prove my point: "I leaf again through these miserable memories, and keep asking myself, was it then, in the glitter of that remote summer, that the rift in my life began; or was my excessive desire for that child only the first evidence of an inherent singularity? When i try to analyze my own cravings, motives, actions and so forth, i surrender to a sort of retrospective imagination which feeds the analytic faculty with boundless alternatives and which causes each visualized route to fork and re-fork without end in the maddeningly complex prospect of my past."
The whole book is like that and it keeps me glued to the pages. So, NO, i don't think you are in the wrong for being annoyed with terrible writing. You shouldn't expect to see ridiculous writing like that of Lolita, but if all the writing out there is as retarded and you have shown us then move on from the story and don't even bother with it. (A real editor of a book or magazine would just throw it in the recycling bin.) But if you are aiming to give constructive criticism then i am truly sorry that you have to sit through the pain of reading material like that.
/endrant.
sorry.